Basic Communication Rights Scoresheet
PART I
Statement Family
Member
Close
Friend
Co-worker
(current or
former co-
worker)
Current or Past
Significant
Relationship
They have the
right to be
listened to
and taken
seriously.
5 5 4 5
They have the
right to say
no, refuse
requests, and
turn down
invitations
without
feeling guilty
or being
accused of
selfishness.
1 3 5 2
They have the
right to be
treated as an
adult with
respect and
consideration.
5 4 4 4
They have the
right to expect
that others do
not talk to
you in a
condescendin
g way.
5 4 3 5
They have the
right to not
feel what
others want
you to feel,
not see the
world as they
would have
you perceive
it, and not
adopt their
values as your
1 3 5 2
own.
They have the
right to have
your own
feelings and
opinions as
long as you
express them
in a way that
doesn’t
violate the
rights of
others.
3 5 5 5
They have the
right to have
and express
your interests,
needs, and
concerns as
long as you do
so in a
responsible
manner.
5 5 4 5
They have the
right to
3 5 5 4
change your
opinions,
feelings,
needs, and
behaviors.
They have the
right to meet
other people
and talk to
them.
5 5 5 3
They have the
right to
privacy –to
keep
confidential
or personal
matters to
yourself.
2 3 5 2
They have the
right to have
others leave
you alone if
you wish.
2 3 5 2
They have the
right to ask
5 5 5 5
others to
listen to your
ideas.
They have the
right to ask
for help or
information
from experts
and
professionals,
especially
when you are
paying for it.
4 4 4 4
They have the
right to not
assert
yourself,
confront
someone, or
resolve a
conflict.
5 5 5 5
They have the
right to ask
others to
change their
5 5 5 5
behavior
when it
continues to
violate your
rights.
TOTAL
SCORES:
56 64 69 58
PART II
Statement Family
Member
Close
Friend
Co-worker
(current or
former co-
worker)
Current or Past
Significant
Relationship
They have the
right to be
listened to
and taken
seriously.
5 4 3 5
They have the
right to say
no, refuse
requests, and
turn down
invitations
without
1 1 4 1
feeling guilty
or being
accused of
selfishness.
They have the
right to be
treated as an
adult with
respect and
consideration.
5 5 5 4
They have the
right to expect
that others do
not talk to
you in a
condescendin
g way.
5 4 4 3
They have the
right to not
feel what
others want
you to feel,
not see the
world as they
would have
1 3 5 1
you perceive
it, and not
adopt their
values as your
own.
They have the
right to have
your own
feelings and
opinions as
long as you
express them
in a way that
doesn’t
violate the
rights of
others.
1 3 5 4
They have the
right to have
and express
your interests,
needs, and
concerns as
long as you do
so in a
3 5 4 5
responsible
manner.
They have the
right to
change your
opinions,
feelings,
needs, and
behaviors.
3 5 5 4
They have the
right to meet
other people
and talk to
them.
5 5 5 3
They have the
right to
privacy –to
keep
confidential
or personal
matters to
yourself.
2 3 5 2
They have the
right to have
others leave
2 3 5 2
you alone if
you wish.
They have the
right to ask
others to
listen to your
ideas.
5 5 5 5
They have the
right to ask
for help or
information
from experts
and
professionals,
especially
when you are
paying for it.
4 4 4 4
They have the
right to not
assert
yourself,
confront
someone, or
resolve a
conflict.
5 5 5 5
They have the
right to ask
others to
change their
behavior
when it
continues to
violate your
rights.
5 5 5 5
TOTAL
SCORES:
52 60 69 51
PART III
Surprising Aspects of Basic Communication Rights
The Basic Communication Right that surprised me the most is the right to “be listened to and
taken seriously” (Cahn & Ruth, 2014) . This right constitutes two limbs, the first being the
right to be heard. Surprisingly, in the realm of International Law, children have a right to be
heard under Article 12 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Authors
within that space have argued that the right to be heard is vital not just for what it says but
also because it acknowledges the child as a full human being with dignity and individuality
and the ability to participate in society freely (Laura, 2007) . By analogy, it can be reasoned
and deduced that the right to be listened to promotes their dignity and enables their
participation in society, even for adults.
The second limb of the right to be listened to is the right to be taken seriously. This was the
most surprising aspect for me as I had no idea I was entitled to be taken seriously as part of
Basic Communication Rights. All my life, although I do take people seriously while
communicating, I never viewed them as entitled to such a right. However, in light of the
dignity considerations mentioned above, it only makes sense that the right to be heard
necessarily entails being taken seriously in the first place.
Surprising Aspects of My Personal Scoresheet
What surprised me most about the total scores on the scoresheet is that I feel like my Basic
Communication Rights are better respected by people who are not as close to me as
compared to, for example, my family. This means that people I do not see as frequently and
those I am less attached to respect my Basic Communication Rights better than those with a
familial or stronger attachment. This is very surprising to me because it is assumed that if you
spend more time with a person, you and them would have a vested interest in securing each
other’s Basic Communication Rights so that relations are smooth and devoid of excessive
conflict. Additionally, it would be reasonable to assume that the more time one spends with
another, the more they learn about the person. Consequently, it would be easier to avoid
conflict and respect their Basic Communication Rights. However, to some degree, it makes a
lot of sense that I respect my former co-workers Basic Communication Rights to a greater
degree than even my close friends and family because I place a lot of importance on my
career and often feel like it is an aspect of my life that I cannot afford to have conflict in
because there is a lot pegged this area of life.
How My Person Approach to Communication and Conflict Will Change
When dealing with the family member in question, firstly, I will remember that the family is
the primary setting within which I learn about communication values (Barbato, Graham, &
Perse, 2003) . In addition, within the family communication climate, I learned how
communication is used in interactions to help achieve personal goals (Barbato, Graham, &
Perse, 2003) . Therefore, communication with the family member in question will shape how I
communicate with others in society. When communicating with them, I will purposefully
intend to respect their Basic Communication Rights, which will constantly be at the back of
my mind.
Regarding communication with the close friend, I will try and be more assertive about my
boundaries and principles. I will ask them to change their behavior when I feel like it’s a
violation of my Basic Communication Rights, especially since they do not take me seriously
at times. Additionally, I will keep in mind that I have the right to say no to their requests
without feeling guilty or being accused of being selfish.
As for the co-worker in question, I will ensure that my Basic Communication Right to expect
that they will not condescendingly speak to me is respected when communicating with them.
I have often felt that I have a high tolerance for any condescending speech that I encounter
with the co-worker that I have mentioned, to the extent that I even do not expect that they
will speak to me in a non-condescending manner.
Finally, when speaking to the person I am currently in a relationship with, I will try to keep in
mind that they have the right to say no to my requests and not feel guilty or be accused of
being selfish. I will also ensure that I remember that I have a right to be left alone when
communicating with my significant other. This is especially the case when we have an
altercation since I usually feel like my right to be left alone is not respected in such instances,
which further escalates the situation.
Bibliography
Laura, L. (2007). 'Voice' Is Not Enough: Conceptualising Article 12 of the United Nations
Convention on the Rights of the Child. British Educational Research Journal, 33(6),
928.
Cahn, D., & Ruth, A. (2014). Managing Conflict Through Communication. New Jersey, New
Jersey, United Staes: Person Education.
Barbato, C., Graham, E., & Perse, E. (2003, July). Communicating in the Family: An
Examination of the Relationship of Family Communication Climate and Interpersonal
Communication Motives. Journal of Family Communication, 3(3),